She Is Not Yours

She is not yours

insidious intimation intra lines of devastation

a statement left unspoken wrapped in clinical verbosity

“your daughter’s brain is injured”

{and I fear she is not yours}

every breath another question, until mind and breath succumbed…

as if interrogation could rescue us from our strangling new reality

all of them asked and answered,

save one a depth below our despair … she is not yours??

we sat betrayed and battered and mourned a promised life

Natalie, breakfast, diaper, bottles, chores, work…

New doctors new questions

and then we quibble about the name:

“well, we don’t want to call it that

{on the chance she is not yours}.”

we learn that fear cuts through a professional’s mask

and now we know the face

“she is not yours”

it spins and wrythes against the weakening restraints of denial

struggles, until it is silenced

silenced by the smiles and laughter of sisters

dismissed as irrelevant

fearless is their example

…a fearless life…

we spend our courage to embrace that joy

and as we smile and laugh and hug and dance we say no.

no, fear, she is not yours.

she is ours

and she is loved.

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5 thoughts on “She Is Not Yours

  1. WOW, is all I can say! What a blessing you are all to Cara. God gave her to you for a reason. It may not seem like it, but she is blessed and she is here to teach all of us.

  2. I am left with my jaw dropped. That was a wonderfully, expressed poem. Dan, I already knew that all of the girls in your family were amazing, and I thought you might be too. Now I know you are. Continue to embrace all the joy that you surround eachother in.

  3. Dan,
    While I wipe the tears from my eyes, all I can is WOW, what a beautiful poem. The pain that went into that can surely be felt. My thoughts are constantly with you.
    Liz

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